Getting it together

Last night I tossed a turned with visions of becoming "that girl" rambling thru my brain.  You know "that girl", she's the one who looks put together and thin, can decorate and keep her space tidy, natty dresser, and doesn't have interesting food experiments rotting in the fridge.  Alas, I have never been quite that girl.  Currently I'm behind on my bills, my house is a wreck, work is a tangle, and my relationship is dead.  Oh, and I think I've been compensating with ill-advised consumption of beverages.  I've always wanted to be "that girl" even though at my soul it is an irritation that this level of competence seems out of my grasp.  I can try to chart a path and work out baby steps in my quest to "that girl"dom, but here is a problem.  I never follow them.  Just like my meticulous budgets that run off the rail, the diets I can't follow, and the FlyLady whom I ignore...I am a self-improvement failure.  How does a confirmed, life long self improvement failure stop the sabatoge?